Sweet Jiminy Cricket! One more Saturday night and one more narrow escape from the long arm of the law. Actually I waited too long and now it's really two Saturday nights and two narrow escapes. But I'm still as free as a bird now. I honestly believe that if you're not close to being behind bars, you're not living life to the extreme and therefore not really living at all. Damn the Man. Save the empire. But enough pychobabble. Here's the stories:2.25.06 ~ A night like any other. It was my friend's 21st birthday blowout bash. You know how those go. My two esteemed colleagues, Mike and Francky came down to Q-Boro to pregame prior to the scheduled festivities. I suppose in retrospect, we should've maybe not had the entire liter of Bacardi before we left. In fact, Mike even said as he took his last shot, "If I get arrested later, this is the shot that did it." Eerie premonition that turned out to be. Hindsight is 20/20, but that was some pretty good foresight if I do say so myself. In any case, we made our way to Manhattan, not bothering to grab change for buses or directions, but those are the pitfalls of inebriation. We almost made it out of the boro without an incident. Almost. Transferring from the 7 to the E of the F as it turned out, Mike drunkenly thought it'd be a great idea to slide down the railing...right in front of the beloved Boys in Blue. He saw them ther, he just didn't realize it was unlawful. Typical Manzor logic. Apparently Mikey didn't get the memo that you can't do anything in the subway system these days. Sheeeit!...Cats get tickets for having their bags up on the seats on empty trains. No lie. Well one $100 summons and one missed E train later we were merrily on our way to wherever it was we were going via the F. On a side point, never take trains anywhere with Francky. He's a big dude, but he's a whiny little girl when it comes to public transportation ("What we have to take another train?"). I'll call the waaaaaambulance. So we finally get down to the spot where there's supposedly a reservation. There's not so we head to the next spot where birthday girl Becky works. In the cab over there I am introduced to a very interesting device for dispensing yayo. And Francky mistakenly fondles my leg in the back seat ("That's my leg guy."). I think the place was called Maya. OK spot. Nothing special. I find it funny when an old acquaintance of mine tells me how much he hates all the Arabs there; it's an Indian lounge/bar. So I see a bunch of folks I haven't seen in a while, have a few more drinks. Nothing too exciting. But wait. There's more. I'm guessing this was around 3:30 or so. Honestly I was too wasted to know. We headed back to the apartment shared by Becky, Dani (Mike's sis), and a whole bunch of fun puppies. Everything's chilling right up until Josh (my roomie), in a moment of drunken silliness, pours some beer on Mike. Harmless, right? Harmless until one of the precocious little furballs slurped up some suds. Then all hell broke loose. Dani kicked us out while saying some pretty disturbing things to her brother. Josh says, "Shit Mike, that's your flesh and blood. How's she gonna say some shit like that?" Francky says, "Your sister's a bitch." True, but uncalled for. Mike says, "Don't call my sister a bitch." Francky says, "Relax!" Just kidding. Francky calls her a bitch again. Mike says, "If you call my sister a bitch again, I'm gonna punch you in the face." So he does and Mike punches him in the face and then shit really starts getting hectic. You've got Mike and Francky going at it. Everyone else is trying to separate them while at the same time getting the brawl outside. I get shoved down the stairs in an effort to get Dani back in her apartment (I later discover that this destroys my MP3 player, much to my dismay). At this point, predictably, the cops show up. I'm way across the street because I know how these situations end up, which is why I was trying to get Dani back inside. So the cops clear things up and Francky hides in the corner somewhere. Mike tries to get the cops to take Dani back to her apartment. They say "No!" Mike says "Yes!" And that's about the time he gets cuffed. Sometime later his sister gets cuffed too. A first for her if I'm not mistaken. As for Josh and I, we made it back home safely as is our style. The siblings, they spent the next day in Central Booking, an adventure in and of itself. No story I've heard about it does anything to restore my faith in the Judicial System and I'll leave it at that. They got out at around 10 p.m. which was a good thing because Mike had court Monday morning. Mike got the old stalwart charges Disorderly Conduct and Resisting Arrest, paid a $95 fine and that was that. I'm told Dani got 30 counts of Disorderly Conduct and Resisting Arrest. Hats off to her. Lesson learned? Probably not knowing these kids. R.I.P. MP3 Player. We hardly knew ye.
3.4.06 ~ This was a great night that almost wasn't. I was supposed to hand out some prophylactics at a Paul Van Dyk show at the Roseland. He's one of those internationally renowned trance DJ's that's more at home on Ibiza than on the island of Manhattan. I'm not a huge fan, but hey it's free. I'm sure I missed out on some bass-thumping, booty-bumping trance addiction. But the person (I dunno if Kizzy Kay is a guy or a girl) I was supposed to do it with cancelled and I wasn't really in the mood to do it alone. If anyone was there, let me know what I missed. The real night began at Queen College, my primary place of education, of all places. The art building was the site of a gallery opening and what's a gallery opening without free booze? Not as much fun, that's for sure. Josh had a poster on display there so we headed down and loaded up on boxed wine, spiked punch and peach schnapps. Somehow I managed to shoot myself in the hand, point blank, with a staple gun. Ouchkabibble! This all took place kinda early for a Saturday night and we were wasted and out of there by 10. It is a lot of fun being drunk on campus, I must say. We wandered around aimlessly for a while, caught some illicit tags. I don't write or anything, but I definitely felt the allure pretty strongly that time. I put up NYPD. They don't get enough props. At this point we would've headed to our friend Esti's crib, but she was/is in mourning for a friend of hers in Israel who overdosed or something like that (just like Harold Hunter). So we were suffciently twisted and we were about to go home and watch a movie or something, but josh called his brother's friend and apparently there was a HUGE house party going on just a few blocks away. About face. There was a cover charge of $5 and they were checking ID's at the door, which was funny because I doubt the majority of the people there were even close to 21. I used Josh's ID because I left mine at home. All the beer we could drink until the kegs were empty. Unfortunately I didn't get to play Beer Pong. I did run into a whole bunch of people that I haven't seen in quite some time, so that was fun. I also ran into this really cute girl who used to sit in front of me in Film History class last semester. I always thought she was such a good girl and now I discover she's an alcoholic just like me. A pleasant revelation. Even some Monsey heads came out. Small world. At approximately 3 a.m. (again, too sloshed to know), the PoPo showed up. Honestly, I'm surprised they didn't come sooner. I wasn't doing anything even remotely wrong, but I didn't have ID on me and I wasn't sticking around to discuss the matter with my uniformed buddies. By the time Josh found me to get out of there, i was halfway out the window. We hopped the fence in the back yard and we were out. It was so much fun watchin all the party people scurrying in all directions like cockroaches when you turn the light on. Fun stuff. So once again, the Crew ended up safely at home base after a narrow escape from the Five-Oh.
Sunday was a pleasant mix of NBA games, gin & juice, OxyCodone and Oscar madness. A nice comedown.
A final note regarding my last unsuccessful run-in with the law. My Unlawful Possession of Marijuana case, stemming from the incident outside the Nokia Theatre, was officially dismissed on the first of this month. I'm on a streak. Let's hope it lasts.
Cool story, Bro.
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